Christian Parents: Are We Failing?
5 research-backed ways to help raise more saints
Christian parents,
I once remember hearing, “My most important responsibility as a father is helping to ensure my children go to heaven.” This resonates deeply with me, as I believe it’s a fundamental truth.
As parents, we have a responsibility to our children to raise them in the faith. While I don’t doubt the love parents have for their children today, I believe we are neglecting this responsibility broadly as a society.
It’s not just an unsubstantiated claim; research has been increasingly obvious in this. Barna Group published an article found that nearly 64% of young adults will withdraw from Church involvment between the ages of 18-29.
Additionally, Pew Research suggests that–with the rise of the “nones,” people that don’t identify with any religion–the Christian percentage of the population in the U.S. could fall below 50% by 2070. This is a stark contrast from being at approximately 90% in 1972.
Despite potential biases in this research, the core message is clear: we are failing in our essential duty to raise our children in the faith. And Lifeway Research found that common reasons for young adults leaving the faith include moving away for college, perceived hypocrisy, and disagreements with the church's stance on various social or political issues.
So to suggest that this isn’t a cultural or even spiritual battle that we’re facing today is absurd. But the absurdity doesn’t change the nature of the situation: What do we do to correct course?
The World Raising Our Children
During childhood, minds are malleable and easily influenced by their surroundings. Like when you see a staunch Republican or Democratic 10 year old, it’s very easy to assess that he is mimicking the beliefs of the parents.
In the same way, children will begin to mold their thinking on the culture around them. Be it at school in how they’re taught or the ways that their peers in class are, or at home.
Simple observations have shown that public school systems have become increasingly activistic. Sometimes its institutional, with legislation or school boards passing curriculums with values antithetical to a Christian worldview. In other ways, it’s rogue teachers that feel that they have a moral obligation to teach their students those same values.
Peer influence can be just as strong. For example, Dr. Lisa Littman of Brown University in 2018 published a study on “rapid onset gender dysphoria,” suggesting that adolescents, particularly young girls, may begin to identify as transgender due to social influences and the presence of transgender peers within their friend groups.
This phenomenon demonstrates that children are impressionable and will shape their beliefs based on their environment. They are not equipped to fight this spiritual battle alone. While alternative education might be a solution, let’s focus on immediate, practical steps.
“And so, my prayer for you is that truth will bring prayer in our homes, and from the foot of prayer will be that we believe that in the poor it is Christ. And we will really believe, we will begin to love. And we will love naturally, we will try to do something. First in our own home, next door neighbor in the country we live, in the whole world.” - Mother Teresa
5 Practical Ways to Raise More Saints
This is a very personal topic for me. As a father of a 2 year old and one on the way, fostering an environment that nurtures a passionate love for Christ is paramount for me. Thus, here are five practical steps every Christian parent should consider.
Integrate Faith into Daily Conversations
Talking about your faith should not be confined to Church. Make faith a regular topic of discussion, relating it to everyday situations and current events. Research suggests that frequent, organic conversations about faith significantly increase the likelihood that children will carry these beliefs into adulthood.
These discussions help normalize faith as an integral part of daily life. Addressing how faith intersects with moral decisions, challenges, and societal issues reinforces its relevance and importance.
Foster a Warm and Supportive Home Environment
A study from the Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate (CARA) at Georgetown University found that children who grow up in warm, affectionate homes that incorporate prayer and service are more likely to retain their faith into adulthood. Creating an environment where children feel comfortable discussing doubts and questions without fear of judgment is also crucial.
A co-worker with over 16 years in faith-based psychiatry regularly sets aside personal time with each of his children, allowing them to be open and honest without consequences. An example of next level parenting to build trust.
Regular Church Attendance with Family
Unsurprisingly, consistent attendance at church services with both parents significantly increases the likelihood that teens will share their parents' religious beliefs. Pew Research Center found this consistency helps integrate religious practices into the fabric of family life, making faith a shared and regular experience.
Participating in regular religious sacraments, such as the Eucharist (Communion), also reinforces faith within the family. These sacraments offer frequent and meaningful encounters with faith, are spiritually nourishing, and creates lasting spiritual habits and deepening children's religious foundations
Role of Parental Engagement
The Pew Research Center found that parents who actively engage in religious discussions and activities with their children are more successful in passing on their faith. This includes praying together, reading religious texts, and participating in religious services and community activities. In other words, a family that prays together, stays together.
Full disclosure: Praying openly together as a family can be awkward for those who are not used to it. But I can personally attest that this feeling fades with regularity and feels not only natural but essential to your daily life.
Living Out Your Own Faith
“Do as I say, not as I do” is not effective in parenting, generally speaking. Leading by example is a foundational leadership technique. Not only should you talk about your faith openly, but you should also practice it.
Read scripture often. Pray regularly. Get involved in your church and community. Be a model of Christ. Doing this from the time your children are young will leave a lasting impression that will carry on through their lives.
Did you agree or disagree with this latest post? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Send me a message, leave a comment, or reStack if it’s worth sharing with others.
Ad Majorem Dei Gloriam,
Josh